I just watched House, and watched Cutty have to accept that the girl who’s baby she was going to adopt, decided to keep the baby.  I just howled.   It brought up so much emotion for me.  This when I realiseI am still grieving through this process – it really is a back and forth thing.   It made me think of the baby I lost, that would be 1 yr old come Thanksgiving, and that of course set me off again.  Its weird because I haven’t really felt that sad in a fairly long time.  Must have been waiting to jump out at just the right moment.   Poor DH didn’t quite know what to do with me.  Anyway I got out of bed, to cry a little bit more, and do some distracting activities like this.  It helps to write it down and share it with you.  And DH has gone to bed cuddling the cat, after offering to cuddle me.   I thought it best to do something else, otherwise I would have eyes like Quasimodo in the morning.  Not pretty.

Wow, it’s amazing but the beginning of November is almost here!  Together with the elections, beautiful fall colors (in USA), the Holiday Season and of course the all important, infertility journey you are taking.  (Myself included!)  When the majority of people surrounding us are totally unaware of the added burden that we carry and the emotional rollercoaster we might be on, LIFE goes on.  Here is an opportunity to join a small group of women, who are walking in your shoes…

 The Fertile Foundation Power Circle starts Monday, the 3rd November 2008 

Be part of an intimate group without leaving your sofa!  Our group will meet on a weekly basis, by phone (or Skype)  at 12noon EST (- 6hrs GMT) for one hour.  I will give you simple instructions to follow upon your registration.   Initially, everyone in the group will get a chance to share their story, and get to know one another. We will take the opportunity, in the on-coming weeks, to:

·     Be heard, without feeling judged.

·     Know that we are in a safe and confidential space of sharing our feelings and experiences.

·     Get to clarify our hopes and dreams of our journey however it progresses (natural, IUI, IVF, donor,adoption, child-free).

·     Set clear intentions on how to take charge of our journey – emotionally, physically and spiritually.  This covers a whole gamut of topics that we can discuss- just to name few:

·          diet,

·          exercise,

·          specialists,

·          tests,

·          dealing with miscarriage,

·          grief,

·          communication with our spouse

·          pregnant friends,

·          interfering family

·          Holiday gatherings  etc!

  This is where we can build our ‘foundation’ for fertility!

·     Be resources of information and a sounding board for one another.

·     Come to a place where you might just want be ‘cradled’ in that moment, and supported in general.

·     Get tips and tools from Louise on making the journey an easier and more joyful one.

·     To learn more about the Law of Attraction.

·     Discover how to become more than your infertility with the guidance of Marina Lombardo’s book.  (to learn more about this – listen to my latest radio show  www.blogtalkradio.com/KeystoClarity-coach )

·     Be part of a group moving forward together, instead of isolating ourselves which happens all to easily.

·     Be part of an intimate group without leaving your sofa!

·     Get coaching from Louise when you get stuck – yes, lots of stickiness on this journey!

·     Learn tips to relax and de-stress in preparation for a successful outcome.

·     Have access to a private group online forum to talk in between sessions.

·     Have unlimited email access to Louise in between sessions.

·     Make new and meaningful friendships with amazing women facing similar issues to you!

I am thrilled and so moved to be able to facilitate this program.  This group is about taking women out of isolation and into a setting where they feel safe and supported. Where women are in a positive environment that can help them to make plans about their future, and deal with positive and negative experiences as they happen.  This is about creating a safe space to share and not be analyzed!  This is about women who deserve to be nurtured and taken care of, especially when they are taking care of everybody else!

Give yourself permission to get support on this special and often difficult journey, especially when the goal is such an important one. 

If you are interested in joining us, , please contact Louise as soon as possible.   There are just a few spaces left in the November group.   If the timing isn’t right, there will be a new program starting in January – again limited space, so book in advance.   I invite you to inquire if you are curious!  My contact details are on the Contact page! or you can comment on the post.

Each one of you will be an integral part of this sacred space, for yourself, and for each and every one of the women participating. I am really looking forward to creating this special space with you.

Warmly,

Coach Louise

Louise Crooks – LifeBalanceinFertility Coach

PS: Don’t let distance / time-zone get in your way!  One of our group members is from the Philippines

Hi Everyone,

After some of the great posts I have been reading recently where we have been talking about positive energy , empowering thoughts, and gratitude,  I thought it would be wonderful to share this little poem with you that my coach sent to me today.  Enjoy.

Attitude

 

There once was a woman who woke up one morning,
looked in the mirror,
and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

Well,” she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today?”
So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror
and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

“H-M-M,” she said,
“I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today?”
So she did and she had a grand
day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

“Well,” she said,
“today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.”
So she did and she had a fun, fun
day.

The next day she woke up,
looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head.

“YEA!” she exclaimed,
“I don’t have to fix my hair today!”

Attitude is everything.

Be kinder than necessary,

for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Live simply,

Love generously,

Care deeply,

Speak kindly…….

Leave the rest to God

 

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…

It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

 Warmly,

Coach Louise

Meet Marina Lombardo!

I am inviting you to listen in on my talk show.  Get all the juicy details about it by clicking on the following link http://www.blogtalkradio.com/KeystoClarity-Coach  (cut and paste into browser in you are not able to click on link)
 
I will be interviewing Marina Lombard co-author of ‘I Am More Than My Infertility – 7 Proven Tools for Turning a Life Crisis into a Personal Breakthrough’  on Monday 27th at 4pm Eastern.  (-5hr GMT).  .Marina has been a psychotherapist for 20yrs and has a practice counseling women, and couples who are experiencing infertility. We will have an in depth discussion with Marina about the emotional journey of infertility and will  share tips you can use to manage your journey. Any questions are welcome, please feel free to call in the number provided on the screen -  once you have clicked on the link.   If you register on the site, you will also be able to participate in the chat room, and comment or ask questions there.   

If you miss the show, you will be able to access to the archived podcast at the same link.

Please forward this info to anyone you think might find this information valuable or of interest. Thanks!

Louise Crooks (your LifeBalanceinFertility Coach) is a professional member of RESOLVE    www.resolve.org

Hope to meet some of my blogging buddies on the show!

Warmly,

Coach Louise

Hi everyone,

I was doing some research and found an interesting article from an Australian website.  Whats interesting is that the men have low folate and high homocysteine levels,  they don’t mention the gene mutation of MTHFR, which men can have too.  MTHFR gene can lower the ability to turn folate into an amino acid which helps to lower homocysteine.  This is a known cause of infertility in women.  Interesting…?

 http://www.news-medical.net 

‘Australian fertility experts say a dose of daily sunshine could help men with fertility problems and they suggest couples struggling to conceive should consider getting out in the sunshine more often.

According to Dr. Anne Clark, the medical director of the Fertility First assisted reproduction clinic in Sydney, blood tests of 794 men who visited the unit found more than a third of them had vitamin D deficiency – they were also found to be deficient in folate and had elevated levels of homocysteine, an amino acid in the blood associated with cell toxicity.

While previous research has shown vitamin D, produced from natural light and found in oily fish and eggs, is important for a healthy pregnancy, this latest research shows a deficiency may also affect sperm.

Dr. Clark says the results show lifestyle changes can be beneficial and just spending ten minutes outside in their shirt sleeves would be enough of a boost along with giving up smoking, losing weight, and reducing caffeine and alcohol intake.

Dr. Clark says the vitamin D deficiency could have been caused by worries about skin cancer and by men trying to avoid too much exposure to sunshine.

A group of 123 men agreed to make the changes, and to also take multivitamins and antioxidants for two to three months, after which time tests revealed ‘an improvement in the shape of the sperm which saw a 75% reduction in the level of sperm fragmentation among the 123 men and 31 of the men went on to achieve a pregnancy.

Dr. Clark says the results clearly show that lifestyle changes and dietary supplements can be beneficial for the conception of a healthy on-going pregnancy.

Dr. Clark presented the paper to Fertility Society of Australia conference in Brisbane – the research is part of a study by University of Sydney doctoral student Laura Thomson who is investigating DNA fragmentation of sperm, a significant factor in male infertility which is most often the result of cellular damage resulting from infection, smoking or advanced paternal age.

Dr. Clark says their findings support a European study earlier this year that showed women’s vitamin D levels strongly correlate with their ability to conceive.

She says vitamin D and folate deficiency are known to be associated with infertility in women, but the outcomes of the screening among men in our study group came as a complete surprise.

Among the group of males tested, 40 pregnancies had been achieved, with more than half of those pregnancies occurring naturally or with minimal intervention such as intrauterine insemination and with only three miscarriages (6%) compared to an average 22% miscarriage rate among women using fertility treatment.

Dr. Clark says the findings could have major implications for the costs of fertility treatment as one in six Australian couples experiences infertility – a blood screening test costs about $450 while a cycle of IVF treatment is about $4,500.

The possibilities...

One of my coaching clients, lets call her Jane, asked me about some information regarding fertility.  She was addressing her concerns at being 37, and not being in the right place in her relationship to start trying for a baby, even though the topic was on the table.    

One of the first things we can do is just have a couple of simple blood tests to create a baseline to work from.  It will give us an understanding of where we are in terms of our fertility.

Testing the FSH levels.   The Follicle Stimulating Hormone, stimulates the growth of the follicle to become an egg.  The harder the hormone has to work to stimulate this growth, the higher the hormone reading will be.  High is not good.  When all is working smoothly the FSH levels will be at a lower level.  If the reading is high, your RE (reproductive endocrinologist) or your OB/GYN will always read it as this level, even if you get a better reading the next time you have the test.  They are looking at worst case scenario.   I won’t give an indication of the levels for the readings as different clinics seem to use different methodologies.  Ask your doctor to explain which one he uses, and how it works.  From this test, it will indicate the quality and quantity levels of your eggs/follicles.

Estradial Testing, is to test the level of your Estrogen Hormone.  This is important for the lining of the uterus to thicken when trying to fall pregnant.

LH Testing, or the Luteinising Hormone, indicates the level of the hormone when ovulating. 

Your doctor will also give you an internal exam / ultrasound to see that your uterus etc is all looking okay.

Your doctor might also ask you to go for an HSG (a Hysterosalpingogram) which is an x-ray using a contrast dye flowing through the uterus and fallopian tubes, to see if there are any blockages or abnormalities that might prevent pregnancy.   It can be a little uncomfortable, but is tolerable, and doesn’t take too long.

This is a pretty basic explanation of what they can do to start with.   Its not particularly invasive and may allay fears or at least give you a picture of where you are in your fertility at this point in time.

Also consider your what your values and needs are.  My client wants to be married before she tries for a baby.  She wants to try for her own biological baby.   She knows that if it works out that the timing isn’t right that she would be okay with this, as she sees her life as full and wonderful with or without children.  These are great questions to ask yourself.

Warmly,

Coach Louise

PS.  If you are starting your journey and would like support and guidance along the way, consider joining the Fertile Foundation Powercircle starting at the beginning of November.  See previous post on the Fertile Foundation Powercircle.   This is an opportunity to take charge of your fertility.

PPS:  If you would like more information generally, have a look on the Resources page.

Hi Everyone,

I am back from my seminar in San Fransisco, so I will be posting a bit more this week!  And of course, its a very important week!  NIAW!  19th -25th October 2008.   I am setting the challenge for all of us to do one purposeful thing for someone ,going through the rollercoaster infertility journey, that you know this week.  I will post what I have done, and I would love it if you will post yours!  It would be great to create some positive energy and ripple effect in what can be sad and isolating journey for so many.  Reach out, share your stories, see what happens…

lovingly yours,

Coach Louise

PS Don’t forget, The Fertile Foundation Powercircle is starting in just under 2 weeks.  If you are interested, and want to make sure you secure your place in the group, please get in touch.  Lets form a sacred space to take charge of our journey!

PPS:  If you are new to the world of infertility, visit www.resolve.org  an amazing non-profit organisation that provides wonderful support for all of us in different ways.  Check it out!  And under Resources for more tips and links.

Peace comes from forgiveness.

When embarking on the infertility journey,  the maze of emotions we move through can be mind-blowing.  Anger, bitterness, resentment are some, as well as the old regulars.. sadness, trepidation, grief, elation, expectation and hope.

I have noticed how many women, have such high expectations of themselves, their bodies, the ability to function ‘as only a woman should’.  And if they don’t , thinking of themselves as failures to themselves, their spouses, and the world.  I know – I’ve been there.

Some of the most profound and liberating work I have done, has been forgiving myself.    As you would have heartfelt compassion ( knowing that you would not wish this on your worst enemy)  how about shining that light of compassion on yourself.  Acknowledge that you have or are doing the best that you can do, in that moment.   That you don’t have control over the outcome.    We women, do try a lot to be ‘perfect’ at everything we do.   If the universe, source or God was looking at you now, he would see someone perfect in his eyes, with all your talents and all your flaws.  That is perfection.   Know that it is okay to be yourself as you are.  Acknowledge your sadness, your anger, and frustration, particularly when they are aimed at yourself.  Allow those emotions to surface, … and then let them pass.    Say to yourself, from your heart, that you forgive yourself -  first of all for being so hard on yourself, and secondly for having such high expectations of ourselves, and of course if you have anything else to forgive yourself for.  Spend some time nurturing yourself, and reminding yourself of the gifts you bring to this world.

lovingly,

Coach Louise

PS Don’t forget if you interested in getting some loving support and focus on your journey, to enquire with me about the Fertile Foundation Powercircle.

Join me!

Hi to all my dear friends,

If you are thinking how nice it would be to talk to people going through the same or similar things to you, and get some real support, then this is the place for you. 

We will meet once a week on the phone, teleconference style, to talk as a group (limited to 6 people).   I am so looking forward to facilitating this type of meeting where we can be heard, speak authentically, and take small steps to creating our amazing future, with or without the end result we desire so much.  We will be there every step of the way.  We have a big one coming soon – the holidays… how do we handle family, and friends, and  gatherings with children/babies in tow?!  This is just one of many things we will get to discuss in our special group.  Lets take the opportunity to empower ourselves!

If you are interested and want to know more about this, please email me on louise@keystoclarity.com or respond to this post.    The group starts on the Monday the 3rd of November 2008 at 12noon Eastern Standard Time.  (GMT -5hrs)  

lovingly yours,

Coach Louise

PS  I know there are some wonderful women I have been blogging with on this special journey (you know who you are)  and I would be so happy for you to join me by participating in this unique experience!  Consider yourself invited!