He or she would have been 1 today.

snowy-trees

Today is the day that I would have given birth to my baby one year ago, if my baby hadn’t miscarried.  I am sending loving thoughts to that little soul that couldn’t stay.

I have just participated in a call on With Forgiveness, and I found myself talking about my anger and sadness.  I feel grateful for having the opportunity to forgive myself for the expectations I have had of myself – as a woman, for feeling ‘less than’ and undeserving, and for having expectations that my journey would look a certain way.  I am letting go of what that journey will look like, and how children will feature in my life.  Thats not me giving up, thats just being open to new possibilities.

I am opening myself up to my sadness of not being a mother as much as I would like to be right now, at a time when we are ‘giving thanks’. ( My mind says why should I be giving thanks…)  In my heart I know there are so many things I am able to give thanks for – I am going to think about all the things in my life I am grateful for, and flood myself with love and compassion over the next few days.   This too, shall pass.

Louise

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4 thoughts on “He or she would have been 1 today.

  1. Pingback: Baby-Parenting.com Website Directory - Mothers

  2. Pingback: MePregnant

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