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Once the Baby Arrives, Is It All Better?

handsI came across this article that raises some interesting concerns. I find that the feelings on the other side depend on how my clients work through their fertility challenges — what that experience is like and how it gets translated into their lives. It’s important to create space for the process you’re going through and all the emotional turmoil involved. What can happen is the emotional residue can lie thick on top of the joy of finally realizing your baby dream.

Give it a read, see what you think. If you’re struggling with fertility challenges or are still feeling sad after your little miracle arrives, reach out to me or another professional that you trust for the support you need. You’re not alone and it doesn’t have to be a struggle.

Parenting After Infertility — Why Am I Still Sad?

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Pregnancy – Is It Possible for You?

young-rose-94186-mCan you get pregnant?  For many of us, the repeated failure to conceive is the first indication that our path to parenthood is taking an unexpected turn.  I remember feeling so defeated each month when my period showed up despite my best efforts to time, measure, and track every observable detail of my reproductive cycle.

And then there were those cycles when I thought and hoped with every fiber of my being that I was … perhaps … actually pregnant.

Kaboom! Hope was shattered sending splinters through my heart and soul when, damn it, again the bleeding would start. WTF!

And then there was the time when I thought I was pregnant … and trying so hard to keep breathing, to not hold my breath, to keep moving so the days could pass … and what, are you sure. By all that’s holy … I was actually, measurably pregnant.

Fireworks! Dancing! Singing! Massive celebration at the soul level!

I can get pregnant!

But the serious-business folks at the clinic told me they were “cautiously optimistic” – the blood test result was a low value and the odds were against holding the pregnancy.

Way to kill my buzz.

No matter, for today I am pregnant.  Today I stand in the space of possibility.  Today I acknowledge and celebrate that I CAN.

And, I can also acknowledge that I want a healthy embryo who can grow into a healthy baby.  I stand whole-heartedly in that possibility too.

And if this embryo cannot develop into a healthy baby, I acknowledge that my body’s wisdom will release this pregnancy.

I stand in that possibility and maintain my focused commitment to creating a healthy pregnancy.

In every conception there is a touch of magic, a miracle, a sprinkle of pixie dust … whatever you want to call it.  Every element must come together just so.  And even under lab conditions, putting all the right elements together in an optimal environment, without that touch of magic, a baby cannot develop.

This is the piece that is out of our hands – out of the hands of the humans who do their part in love or in technology.  Only in the hands of the Great Spirit, natural forces of the Universe, or however you want to identify it – that’s the magic key.  Our best practice is to acknowledge this truth and respect its wisdom.

Have you celebrated your pregnancies?  Even if you miscarried.  How beautifully magical that you conceived!

Can you stand in the place of possibility?

How does it feel when you consider standing in the place of possibility?

Try this on if you need some help accessing that place of possibility:

I am standing in possibility.
I can see so many directions to go.
In this moment I am  ____________________
I give thanks that I am ___________________
What does tomorrow hold? No need to spend today on that.
I feel my joy.
I feel my pain.
I remember and feel love.
This is how I live fully.

As always, I’d love to hear from you.

Free Fertility Support for You from 20 Holistic Experts!

onphoneholdingbellyI know you’re struggling to conceive or panicked about miscarriages or you wouldn’t be visiting this blog. Well I’ve got something totally exciting to share today!! My friend Mayer Goyer has put together a series of training calls to support you — with the help of 20 fertility experts. Learn how you can use their advice as you develop your very own holistic plan — one that works with your body and your values.

This FREE online event is designed with your needs in mind. Mary and 19 of today’s top experts in the field know your’re looking for straight talk and proven advice on:

  • How to clear away the toxins and sources of stress that make conception difficult
  • Ways to open up constriction in your body and improve reproductive circulation
  • Natural remedies for fibroids, PCOS, and many other physical issues you face
  • Emotional and spiritual absolutes — to stay sane, peaceful, and connected

I know you’ll want to grab your spot right away. Click here to register — you’ll get 20 training call for free! And if you can’t make a call live, replays will be available shortly after each call.

Embarking on the Infertility Rollercoaster

roller_coaster
An Interview with Julie Pierce

click to listen

Have you been trying for a baby for a while now, and you’re now having to seek alternative methods to conceive successfully?

Have you been going down the road of IUI’s and IVF’s and still on that rollercoaster journey?

Have you experienced loss during your journey – with miscarriage in early stage or even late stage of pregnancy?

Wherever you are on this journey, it’s becoming commonly known that there are few things everyone experiences:

  • obsession with the fertility process
  • loss of balance with self, life and partnerships
  • a seeking for supporting the body and mind through alternative therapies
  • a confusion on which choices to make and when

and so much more…

In this interview, I’ll be sharing what to expect through this journey in much more detail and informaiton on how best to support yourself during your experience.  I’ll also share about my journey of heartache and success, and what I know you can do differently to feel whole, balanced, and healthy on your journey.

Please share this with anyone you think might also be interested.

Talk to you soon!

Pursuing Parenthood – Evolving Perspectives

Perspective BlocksWhen we are trying to conceive but don’t, or when we do conceive and then lose a pregnancy, we mourn a life that has not been realized. This can happen to us month over month or pregnancy after pregnancy. Each of these experiences of loss and missed expectation creates a growing mountain of compounding grief that we carry around, cope with, and suffer through one way or another. We can stay stuck in the perspective that there is only one acceptable way to achieve our goal around parenthood. Or, consider this … we can find a bit of relief in creating our own experience of expansion.

Once my partner and I had fully committed to the idea that we truly wanted to be parents, I approached conception like all of my other goals. My targeted focus and consequential achievement had been a reliable pattern … till now.

When I was trying to get pregnant month after month, I felt that my body was laughing in my face with the arrival of my period. I see now that my reaction was to dig my heels in even deeper with the determination that I was so totally going to do this thing. Does this ring any bells for you?

You could not tell me that I was not going to get pregnant. You could not tell me that I was infertile. The fact that none of the “experts” could give me and my partner a clear explanation about why we were not conceiving was frustrating, but it also gave me continuous hope that in the absence of any biochemical reason standing in our way, there was no real reason that we would not get pregnant. And therefore, of course we should keep doing it the good ol’ fashion way and eventually the sperm and the egg would get their acts together. As I’m sure you can relate, this was a huge tax on our relationship and our enjoyment of sex. “Perform, damn it! Now’s the time!” — we went through this pressure repeatedly.

As time continued to tick, tick, tick away — my eggs were not getting any fresher — I reluctantly went on to open up bit-by-bit to more medical investigation and eventually intervention, otherwise known as assisted reproduction. I was standing in the attitude of, “Seriously, I need assistance with this?” I was used to being self-sufficient, independent, in charge of my own outcomes. Turns out this was really not a helpful attitude or perspective. Over time, my attitude softened … I was, in a way, forced to surrender more and more of my constricted definition of what was an acceptable way for me to become a parent. As I moved into a more expanded perspective, I experienced a lightening of the intensity and stress. This was not the ultimate magic bullet, but it was definitely a useful evolution in supporting my health, my significant relationships, and the enhancement of my ability to conceive and carry to term.

I’m wondering how your goal of family building could be requiring you to find a new perspective, one that you may not have originally planned for. How has your fertility journey changed your perspective on growing your family? Please comment below.

You’re Not Alone – Small Groups and Workshops

group_feetDo you feel like a freak?

Let me assure you, although your body is not doing what you expected it should do — and most likely what you had been actively preventing it from doing for many years — you are in good company. Knowing that fact and connecting with others who are experiencing similar frustrations and disappointments can go a long way to keeping your sanity in residence.

It’s old news that reducing stress is one of the most important things to do when you’re trying to conceive or heal in any way. But it’s also well-known that the very message “stress less” is like saying, “don’t imagine Super Man flying.”  Too late!

What if you could be part of a group that wasn’t just set up for complaining and commiserating, but provided acknowledgement of your painful reality as well as proven ways to relieve that pain?

Because I know the value and strength that you can draw from being a part of such a community, I am putting together small groups and workshops specifically for women who are facing or who have faced fertility challenges. These are small groups specifically for women like you and me.

If you’d like more information about these opportunities, please contact me to let me know which of the following small groups interest you:

  • Repeatedly trying to conceive with no conception
  • Compounding grief due to repeated miscarriage
  • Compounding grief due to late term demise

I’ll send you details as I get a feel for how many are interested and where most of us are located. And if you like being able to participate in a group remotely, there will be opportunity for that as well. So for all the details, let me know who you are and how I can reach you.

Robotic Treatment for Endometriosis Covered by Insurance

Veins of Life, by Tim Geers

According to RESOLVE, “an estimated three to five million American women of reproductive age” experience endometriosis. It is well known that endometriosis impacts fertility, but how it actually interferes with conception is still under much investigation. Treatment for endometriosis to prepare women for conception involves surgery and has been around for many years now. However, there is improved technology now available that promises to make the surgery more accurate and thorough, and patients are finding a significant reduction in recovery time and time to conception.

Dr. Samuel Brown of Jacksonville, FL is touted as the originator of this procedure. ActionNewsJax.com covered the story and includes a video. If you know you have endometriosis, I thought it would be worthwhile to share the link with you. If you think you might have endometriosis but you’re not sure, RESOLVE has a useful Questions to Ask Series Article that will help you understand and open a discussion about it with your doctor.

Because it is a common barrier to conception and because some of the symptoms overlap with other menstrual complaints, doctors will often want to rule it out right away before pursuing fertility treatments and assisted reproductive technology. When I initially brought concerns of infertility to my primary care doctor, endometriosis was one of the first things she wanted to look for. At that stage of my fertility journey, I was still in denial that there could be something physical standing between me and conception. I wasn’t willing to accept that endometriosis could be a possibility. In the end, it was shown that I did not have endometriosis; however, I could have eliminated the doubt of it and moved down a more confident and clear path of progress if I had simply checked it out at the first suggestion. No harm in gathering data when you are completely in the dark about why you are trying so hard but not conceiving — especially if the data gathering is covered by insurance.