Did you know that!? In fact I believe the Japanese have a contraceptive made thats main ingredient is peas. I frickin’ love peas! So when I found that out, I was thinking well no wonder I can’t get pregnant! Ok its a bit more complicated than that. But I was eating them like I normally do, like crazy! Well, I wanted to share that with you, as I have my last big bowl of peas, soaked in butter, as I start the build up to my next IVF. Yummy. Migraine has me laid low today, peas are a comfort. DH is away on a course, so I will indulge… butter is an indulgence for me too. I have generally cut butter and margerines out of my diet, even from sandwiches. Its amazing how quickly you can get used not having it. My cholesterol is an issue, and if you get pregnant, you naturally get even higher cholesterol! Well, I have to say I would welcome that if it meant being pregnant! In the meanwhile trying to do what I can to lower it – except tonight. The rainy weather is causing a pressure system which is probably causing my migraine.
Hmm that makes me think, I will have to start curtailing the types of painkillers I use, to really be ready to for the IVF. Not looking forward to dealing with that. It means constipation – bad!! Was that more information than you needed? too bad! hehe! So its actually is harder to manage the migraines when having to get ready to go through the IVF. When I fell pregnant on my 2nd IVF ( miscarried at 6 wks 5ds) last year, I was migraine-free for the duration. What a great side-effect. See, there are so many reasons why I should be pregnant! For those of you who don’t have any idea of what cluster headache / occular migraine is, I can have between 1 to 5 (sometimes more) migraines in a week. It is one of the worst kind. (yes there are lots of different types of migraine) and this type is generally diagnosed more in men. Wow wouldn’t that be amazing – to be pain free for 9 months AND to have a baby at the end of it! For some people migraines can get worse through pregnancy, but it has the opposite effect for others. I found I was one of the latter.
I went to my Resolve support group last night for the first time in ages. It was so nice to connect with Michelle and Sue, who were the only others that came, which was perfect because they were ones I wanted to reconnect with. So we were able to have a good chat. I hadn’t been for about 4 or 5 months, and didn’t realise how much I had missed it. It really is a place where you can totally be comfortable talking about your experiences knowing there is understanding, empathy and no judgement. Generally speaking, when someone hasn’t walked in our shoes, it is very difficult for themno to understand what we are going through, and generally anything they might say, can be irritating or inappropriate….. so support groups are a blessing. If you haven’t been to one, or joined one, and have infertility challenges, do yourselves a big favour – join one! Especially if you are one of those who is not willing to share your experience with anyone you know. It gives you the outlet to talk to others with confidentiality and stops you from feeling isolated, which can easily happen with this experience.
Well enough rambling from me…
Next week, I will be setting up appointments with a couple of new IVF doctors… thinking of the clinic in Shorthills, NJ, and Weills-Cornell in NY. My old doctor says he has done all he can…. a fresh perspective is called for! I am not ready to give up yet. Besides we only found out I had a couple of gene mutations after my 2nd IVF and miscarriage! So not giving up yet!
love to all on this journey,