Tag Archive | communication

Forgiveness and Fertility

Have I got your attention!

Have I got your attention!

Dear Fertility Buddies

I belong to this website called With Forgiveness.  They discuss all aspects of forgiveness-  have live teleclasses/conference calls and lots of other interesting titbits.  You can sign up for their daily inspiration too.   The reason why I am sharing this with you is because being able to let go of any bitterness and resentment towards anybody – but often someone in particular, and it might even be yourself – is part of the fertility journey.  By letting go of the ‘poison’ in your mind and body, you will allow more positive energy to flow, and allow the possibility of wonderful and new things showing up!  (like a pregnancy!)   When we hold on to our resentments and bitterness, we are literally carrying baggage in our psyche.  This is an opportunity to unburden yourself.

In fact a lovely woman I interviewed on my radio show Stephanie Webb, shared how using a coach to practice ‘letting go’ was a very powerful part of the process she went through to support herself during her infertility journey.  (you can listen to the archived podcast, by clicking on the link KTC Radio on the right hand side of the page)

I personally know how powerful it is to let go of feeling bitter and resentful towards someone (my mum)  – it used to cause depression, illness, and prevented me from the possibility of having any kind of relationship with her.  So I was really hurting myself.   Once I had had the experience and opportunity to ‘let go’ and forgive – and that doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning,  I felt so much lighter and free.  And I also had the experience of having a new wonderful relationship with my mum (and it wasn’t perfect…).  How thankful I was when my mother died suddenly 5 years after we had repaired our relationship.  I feel totally at peace with myself, and am so grateful to have had that time with her, where we could really be there for each other.  Now I am not saying that forgiveness will necessarily bring you a renewed relationship with the person you have in mind, but it will help you to move beyond the drama and poison that is holding YOU back, not them.  So this is in your best interests not theirs.

Your body literally produces poison when you harbor ill feeling.  So this is part of the process to do everything in your power to be emotionally and spiritually ready to accept a baby into your life.

Here is the link for this wonderful website.

http://www.withforgiveness.com/events.html

Susyn and Sheri, who are the hosts, will be hosting a live call on Tuesday evening.  Check it out!  (what have you got to lose….and what have you got to gain!)   The subject for this event is:  Forgiveness in Action – Simple Techniques for Big Results

If you have second thoughts – think again.  Think hard.  Everyone I know holds resentment for someone or something – unless they have done work on it, and keep doing the work to resolve it!
(I will post a link for the website under Links for future reference)

so lovingly, and with forgiveness

Coach Louise Crooks

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The ‘ Perfect Patient’ Intro. and Tip No. 1

I am aware through my own processes with IVF etc that sometimes we don’t know how to interact with our clinic and reproductive endocrinologist to ensure that we are doing all we can to make the experience the best that it can be for all concerned – afterall we are all in it for the same outcome!   A little bundle of joy!  So we want to know how to be the ‘perfect patient’ .  RESOLVE (an organisation I am a big fan of) is the National Infertility Organisation and is not-for-profit. They support people like us throughout the USA and I highly recommend registering on their site and getting their info and support too.  However I will be sharing a lot of their info and articles here too, and this is one of them, written by Sharon N, Covington MSW and Linda Hammer Burns, PhD written for ‘Family Building’ Fall 2007.  At this point I would like to add, that of course there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ patient (we want to lessen the stress, not add to it!), we are only perfect in being the best we can be in any situation, and that it the choice we have in what we strive to do!

Tip No. 1

The perfect patient communicates honestly, openly, directly and calmly with the physician and other caregivers.    The begins by abandoning the concept that the doctor has special god-like powers. communications should flow natureally and without reservation or intimidation. Patients often have difficulty stating problems or doing so in a clam manner. It’s fine to bring aides to your appointments such as a written list of issues or questions you wish to address. Focus on clearly stating the problem or complaint, your position and what you consider a satisfactory resolution of a problem (e.g. an apology or a different way of handling the problem in the future.  

Looking forward to sharing the Tip No. 2 with you soon!  Louise x

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