Tag Archive | grief

You’re Not Alone – Small Groups and Workshops

group_feetDo you feel like a freak?

Let me assure you, although your body is not doing what you expected it should do — and most likely what you had been actively preventing it from doing for many years — you are in good company. Knowing that fact and connecting with others who are experiencing similar frustrations and disappointments can go a long way to keeping your sanity in residence.

It’s old news that reducing stress is one of the most important things to do when you’re trying to conceive or heal in any way. But it’s also well-known that the very message “stress less” is like saying, “don’t imagine Super Man flying.”  Too late!

What if you could be part of a group that wasn’t just set up for complaining and commiserating, but provided acknowledgement of your painful reality as well as proven ways to relieve that pain?

Because I know the value and strength that you can draw from being a part of such a community, I am putting together small groups and workshops specifically for women who are facing or who have faced fertility challenges. These are small groups specifically for women like you and me.

If you’d like more information about these opportunities, please contact me to let me know which of the following small groups interest you:

  • Repeatedly trying to conceive with no conception
  • Compounding grief due to repeated miscarriage
  • Compounding grief due to late term demise

I’ll send you details as I get a feel for how many are interested and where most of us are located. And if you like being able to participate in a group remotely, there will be opportunity for that as well. So for all the details, let me know who you are and how I can reach you.

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Grief. How do we get through it during the infertility process?

The sun sets on today, opening up new possibilities tomorrow...

The sun sets on today, opening up new possibilities tomorrow…

Hi all,

I had a moment of clarity this morning, a wonderful reminder that it is okay to feel strong emotions, so we can let them go, to bring new and wondrous things into our lives.   It is an opportunity to be able to move out of the grief and beyond, when we allow ourselves to express and experience the grief to begin with.  The society we have been brought up in doesn’t condone showing emotion, particularly for men.  Well its about time that all changed!  We would live much healthier and happier lives if we were able to express our emotions without having to worry about others expectations, and in turn our own.    You can make a change right now, to change your own expectations of yourself and others.

My grandmother’s funeral was today.  It was in Northern Ireland and for a number of reasons I couldn’t be there.   So today has been a bit of weird day for me, but mainly sad.   My DH and I went for a walk in the woods, which was great – it gave me the chance to feel a sense of peace and connectedness, but it also allowed me to  acknowledge how sad I was feeling.    I realised that I was doing what so many of us do, which is fighting the feeling of sadness – that is just too painful to remain in that space, wanting to ‘snap out of it’ and feel ‘normal’ again.  Well, ironically as I write this, I recognise that these feelings are ‘normal’…. What is ‘normal’ afterall ?- everyone has a different perception or definition.    I transgress…

Anyway, I realised I was being impatient and didn’t want to experience feeling such sadness.  It occurred to me, especially because of the work I have done, personally going through the untimely loss of my mother and a miscarriage/ infertility too, and through The Journey experience, that I was forgetting something.   We have to embrace these strong emotions of loss, to be able to move past and beyond them, and to heal.   (That doesn’t mean you forget the person you lost, it just means you are able to let go of the pain, and remember them in genuine and positive way through the wonderful memories you have created together.  Their death doesn’t define them.)   This might not apply to miscarriage or grieving the vision of what our life might have been like – but it is grief all the same.  Some of us hang onto our grief wearing it like a banner for years and years, but how is that serving us and honouring life at large?   Its a great question to ask yourself.

Through The Journey, which is about healing at a cellular level from emotional and physical wounds,  it became very clear to me that we have to confront our feelings and emotions, to get a sense of freedom and of letting go.  To me, being able to let go, allows us to bring new possibilities into our lives…  to be able to keep going and striving, and living!   I am not saying put a time limit on your grieving, but allow yourself the opportunity to grieve, when it arises – this will help you move through the process of grieving more quickly.

So today, I sit in quiet contemplation embracing my grief not just for this grandmother but also for others I have lost and for myself.    I cancelled all my appointments because I owe it to myself,  I let the tears come when they come,and I am nurturing my soul.

Bless all those of you who are grieving.   Know that we are all connected. www.thejourney.com

Warmly,

Louise

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Louise’ Journey – Philosophical thoughts…

I wrote this on someone’s blog today, and thought well, this would be a great post on my own blog….

Coach Louise

Coach Louise

In answer to Sharon’s blog – about her inspiring message and determination….

It is something I realised through my journey is that infertility or having a baby doesn’t define who I am.  Letting go of the outcome of a successful IVF/IUI treatment was one of the hardest lessons – but once the realisation came, it was one of relief.  I realised I wasn’t the one in control –  ( determination-here I come) that giving that totally over to whomever, God, the Universe, Grace – and just letting what will be, be.  That took me a while, and of course is something I do have to remind myself of.   My miscarriage was heartbreaking.  But I have allowed myself to grieve, and not know why…   I have subsequently learned about the possibility that we choose to come to earth having decided which lessons we need to learn, and that my baby came purely for that few weeks for a reason.  What is my learning….still working on that one… but it gives me more compassion, understanding and love for those who walk in my shoes – part of the reason why I now coach women on this journey….  Sterkte (strength for non South Africans) , to you Sharon, you are an inspiration.  We are all whole, beautiful and loved, and how we show up in life – we certainly have a choice in that – is all that matters.

with love and conviction,
Coach Louise Crooks

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