Tag Archive | letting go

Letting Go…

Part of our experience when we go through the infertility experience is a process of ‘letting go’. When we get to grips with knowing that we are not in control of the outcome of these processes we go through, we start to let go… and allow… This was a huge lesson for me, and in my life in general.

The energy of ease this creates can only be advantageous to our experience what ever is we’re dealing with. Whatever the outcome we can’t control that. We can take charge and responsibility for the way we treat our bodies, and nurture our emotional wellbeing, but that is all. The rest is left up to the journey that is there for us, and perhaps was before we even came into being. Yes, something to think about. Everything we do and experience is a culmination of the human being we choose to be through our experiences good and bad, and if we choose it to be a force for good, then everything we experience has a gift in it somewhere.

In the spirit of ‘letting go’ I will no longer be posting on this blog. My journey on the road of fertility is at an end, and I am focusing on giving birth to other amazing things in my life. For all of you going down this tumultuous road, my plea to you, is to research all the alternatives to laying a solid and healthy foundation for your body, and mind, before you seek out medical intervention. If you’re already in the process of IUI’s or IVF’s, take out the time to be nurturing and kind to your body – treat it as a temple, and make sure you’re doing all you can to support yourself naturally and with alternative methods of support. And I wish for you success and fulfillment of your heart’s desires.

If you would like to see what I am now up to, go to http://www.keystoclarity.com Feel free to contact me through that website if you desire.

Blessings!
Coach Louise x

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Grief. How do we get through it during the infertility process?

The sun sets on today, opening up new possibilities tomorrow...

The sun sets on today, opening up new possibilities tomorrow…

Hi all,

I had a moment of clarity this morning, a wonderful reminder that it is okay to feel strong emotions, so we can let them go, to bring new and wondrous things into our lives.   It is an opportunity to be able to move out of the grief and beyond, when we allow ourselves to express and experience the grief to begin with.  The society we have been brought up in doesn’t condone showing emotion, particularly for men.  Well its about time that all changed!  We would live much healthier and happier lives if we were able to express our emotions without having to worry about others expectations, and in turn our own.    You can make a change right now, to change your own expectations of yourself and others.

My grandmother’s funeral was today.  It was in Northern Ireland and for a number of reasons I couldn’t be there.   So today has been a bit of weird day for me, but mainly sad.   My DH and I went for a walk in the woods, which was great – it gave me the chance to feel a sense of peace and connectedness, but it also allowed me to  acknowledge how sad I was feeling.    I realised that I was doing what so many of us do, which is fighting the feeling of sadness – that is just too painful to remain in that space, wanting to ‘snap out of it’ and feel ‘normal’ again.  Well, ironically as I write this, I recognise that these feelings are ‘normal’…. What is ‘normal’ afterall ?- everyone has a different perception or definition.    I transgress…

Anyway, I realised I was being impatient and didn’t want to experience feeling such sadness.  It occurred to me, especially because of the work I have done, personally going through the untimely loss of my mother and a miscarriage/ infertility too, and through The Journey experience, that I was forgetting something.   We have to embrace these strong emotions of loss, to be able to move past and beyond them, and to heal.   (That doesn’t mean you forget the person you lost, it just means you are able to let go of the pain, and remember them in genuine and positive way through the wonderful memories you have created together.  Their death doesn’t define them.)   This might not apply to miscarriage or grieving the vision of what our life might have been like – but it is grief all the same.  Some of us hang onto our grief wearing it like a banner for years and years, but how is that serving us and honouring life at large?   Its a great question to ask yourself.

Through The Journey, which is about healing at a cellular level from emotional and physical wounds,  it became very clear to me that we have to confront our feelings and emotions, to get a sense of freedom and of letting go.  To me, being able to let go, allows us to bring new possibilities into our lives…  to be able to keep going and striving, and living!   I am not saying put a time limit on your grieving, but allow yourself the opportunity to grieve, when it arises – this will help you move through the process of grieving more quickly.

So today, I sit in quiet contemplation embracing my grief not just for this grandmother but also for others I have lost and for myself.    I cancelled all my appointments because I owe it to myself,  I let the tears come when they come,and I am nurturing my soul.

Bless all those of you who are grieving.   Know that we are all connected. www.thejourney.com

Warmly,

Louise

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Forgiveness and Fertility

Have I got your attention!

Have I got your attention!

Dear Fertility Buddies

I belong to this website called With Forgiveness.  They discuss all aspects of forgiveness-  have live teleclasses/conference calls and lots of other interesting titbits.  You can sign up for their daily inspiration too.   The reason why I am sharing this with you is because being able to let go of any bitterness and resentment towards anybody – but often someone in particular, and it might even be yourself – is part of the fertility journey.  By letting go of the ‘poison’ in your mind and body, you will allow more positive energy to flow, and allow the possibility of wonderful and new things showing up!  (like a pregnancy!)   When we hold on to our resentments and bitterness, we are literally carrying baggage in our psyche.  This is an opportunity to unburden yourself.

In fact a lovely woman I interviewed on my radio show Stephanie Webb, shared how using a coach to practice ‘letting go’ was a very powerful part of the process she went through to support herself during her infertility journey.  (you can listen to the archived podcast, by clicking on the link KTC Radio on the right hand side of the page)

I personally know how powerful it is to let go of feeling bitter and resentful towards someone (my mum)  – it used to cause depression, illness, and prevented me from the possibility of having any kind of relationship with her.  So I was really hurting myself.   Once I had had the experience and opportunity to ‘let go’ and forgive – and that doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning,  I felt so much lighter and free.  And I also had the experience of having a new wonderful relationship with my mum (and it wasn’t perfect…).  How thankful I was when my mother died suddenly 5 years after we had repaired our relationship.  I feel totally at peace with myself, and am so grateful to have had that time with her, where we could really be there for each other.  Now I am not saying that forgiveness will necessarily bring you a renewed relationship with the person you have in mind, but it will help you to move beyond the drama and poison that is holding YOU back, not them.  So this is in your best interests not theirs.

Your body literally produces poison when you harbor ill feeling.  So this is part of the process to do everything in your power to be emotionally and spiritually ready to accept a baby into your life.

Here is the link for this wonderful website.

http://www.withforgiveness.com/events.html

Susyn and Sheri, who are the hosts, will be hosting a live call on Tuesday evening.  Check it out!  (what have you got to lose….and what have you got to gain!)   The subject for this event is:  Forgiveness in Action – Simple Techniques for Big Results

If you have second thoughts – think again.  Think hard.  Everyone I know holds resentment for someone or something – unless they have done work on it, and keep doing the work to resolve it!
(I will post a link for the website under Links for future reference)

so lovingly, and with forgiveness

Coach Louise Crooks

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