Tag Archive | coaching

Fertility Journey Survey: Findings

Many women would have liked the support of a fertility coach from the beginning of the fertility journey and believe it would have reduced much confusion, fear, frustration, overwhelm, and the slide toward depression.

In February 2012, I began surveying women about their experience with the pursuit of parenthood and the fertility challenges that came up for them. By the end of March, I closed the survey so that I could take some time to organize and reflect on what participants had shared with me.

Depending on the ability to coordinate schedules and each woman’s desired level of participation, some surveys were conducted on the phone, in person, or via an electronic form. Much of the survey content is derived from the story-telling of each journey, but there were some yes/no and categorized-answer questions as well.

While each journey is significantly unique, there are some very clear common threads, the most obvious one being the focused, driving desire to become a parent. This focus is usually directed toward becoming pregnant, but sometimes intended parents find themselves making choices from a menu they had never considered part of their palette.

Here are some of the highlights:

93% of survey respondents have had, are having, or plan to have fertility treatments of one kind or another. Treatments are defined as actions on the physical body to enhance chances of conception and delivery. These actions may include acupuncture, herbs, dietary changes, application of oral or injectable medications or hormones, medical investigative procedures, and surgeries.

67% of participants who are no longer trying to conceive and deliver their first child said they would have liked the support of a fertility coach during their fertility journey. Many sought out support from online forums and friends who had also experienced challenges. Many expressed an interest in a managed and directed support group for women specifically going through same treatment protocols provided by fertility clinics. Many also believed that having the support of a fertility coach from the beginning of the journey would have reduced much confusion, fear, frustration, overwhelm, and the slide toward depression.

On average, women tried for 3 or more years before actually conceiving and carrying to term or giving up on the idea of carrying their own baby. This includes women experiencing secondary infertility as well as those trying to have their first baby.

It surprised me that only 17% of the women I surveyed were considering adoption or had found adoption to be the right answer for them. Those who have adopted are consistently and markedly passionate about their choice, and they generally feel moved to encourage others to include this option on their list of possibilities.

In general, the use of donor eggs and the option of surrogacy were not included in the vision of possibilities even when I asked the question directly. The idea of donor eggs evoked sadness at the thought that they would not be part of the makeup of their child. Some women were turned off by the cost of these two options, which is interesting in light of the fact that almost 20% would consider adoption even with it’s high cost. However, it is informative to remember that foster-to-adopt programs greatly reduce the cost.

94% of the women I surveyed responded that they experienced a couple or all of the following feelings: failure; disappointment; betrayal.

67% of the participants believe they would make different choices if they were to rewind and start over. The most popular changes mentioned include:

~ Moving forward with life goals and activities instead of putting life on hold while trying to conceive
~ Letting the desire to be a parent affect them sooner rather than waiting for the “right” time
~ Discontinuing relationships that got in the way of pursuing the desire to become parents
~ Getting clear on the desire to be parents and seeking help sooner
~ Pursuing satisfying information and answers, no longer tolerating unanswered questions and confusion

Although there are plenty of other larger, more clinical and academic surveys done in this area, I wanted to do my own query into the things that struck me personally as important considerations. The questions I created were initially sparked from reflecting on my own fertility challenges and the desire to have a fuller understanding of the vast range of experiences encountered on this path. I have learned so much by connecting with the survey participants and their stories, and I know that the quality of the service I can provide has improved as a result of this expanded perspective.  Thank you to everyone who contributed and participated.

If you are interested in sharing your fertility journey story with me — whether you’re just beginning, are in the middle of it, or have moved on — I would love to hear from you. Please contact me in any of the ways mentioned on my Contact Page. If you have comments or thoughts about the results I’ve presented here, please share in the comments thread below the post.

Have you been the partner, friend, or relative of someone facing fertility challenges? I’d love to hear your observations of their journey too. Please contact me using any of the ways presented on my Contact Page.

I look forward to hearing from you and thanks for reading.

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Coach Louise and Coach Julie

Dear blog reader,

Coach Louise began this blog with the intention that it be a place to share stories, ask questions, get support in a safe place of understanding and compassion, as well as a source for information on the topic of infertility, miscarriage, treatments etc. I am so excited to be taking over the administration of the blog and continuing on the mission of supporting you on your unique fertility journey. If you’d like to know more about me and what I offer, please click About Julie or visit Whole Vision Coaching. I’m so glad you’re here. Most importantly, I really want you to understand that you are not alone and this part of your adventure does not define who you are.

Having experienced the frustrations of unexplained infertility personally, I recognize that the experience can be isolating when the people around you don’t necessarily understand what you are going through. It is also often the first crisis couples come up against where there is really no control over the outcome. I want to connect with you and give you as much support as possible to lead a life full of joy and balance no matter the outcome of your pursuit of parenthood. I can also help to guide you and propose different alternatives that you might not have considered yet from a purely objective point of view.

Ultimately, I can offer you a space like a comfy sofa that you can fall into to feel comforted and reassured and so much more while on this unexpectedly challenging journey.

With love,
Coach Julie

Louise Crooks discusses Fertility Issues & Coaching on Conscious Choices Radio today!

Hi Everyone!

There is always hope!

There is always hope!

Just a heads up for anyone who would like more information on the journey we go on as we deal with fertility challenges!  I have been invited to talk about Infertility and how coaching can support you going through this experience – so I am sure a lot of your questions will be answered!  If they are not, please comment on this post, with your question.  Please also comment if you liked what you heard, and want to know more.    For anyone who does post a comment on this post regarding the show, I will be giving away 5 Resolve magazines  (Resolve), that just landed on my desk today, to the lucky individuals – I will do a draw to decide who receives these great resources of info!  They have an article called ‘The Light at the End of the Tunnel’ which immediately draws my attention as its very much in alignment with my coaching philosophy!

Listen to the recording on this link  Conscious Choices Radio

Warmly,

Coach Louise

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Donor Eggs or Sperm: are you ready to take this step?

ostrich

Hi Everyone!

I have been absent for a couple of weeks it feels, but I am still here.  I am still in inbetween land with our next move,  so no news on our front yet.  The conversation about what we decide to do next is still lurking, but its kind of heads in sand right now….

In the meanwhile I want to share my colleague Dawn Davenport’s show on BlogTalkRadio which she does weekly, and regularly has professionals from the Reproductive community on her show as guests, so there is some great information on all sorts of topics regarding Fertility Issues.  Here is the link to go to her latest show which discusses the pros and cons of going to the option of donor eggs or sperm.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/creatingafamily/2009/02/11/Are-you-Ready-to-Move-to-Donor-Eggs-or-Sperm

I hope you find the information interesting and useful.

In the meanwhile, I can update you that I will be starting my Fertility show again in March,  where the first show will be a coaching panel with myself and Connie Barrow Peebles, talking to women going through the fertility journey.   We’ll discuss how to keep on track with life balance, taking steps to take care of yourself and all other questions you might have in this regard.  We are looking forward supporting you on your journey.  This type of show might become a regular feature depending on its success.  Come and support us!  If you have any questions that you would like answered on the show, please send them to me at louise@keystoclarity.com , or call in on the live show.  Details will be posted shortly.

You can access archived podcasts of various topics regarding Fertility at

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/KeystoClarity-coach

Warmly,

Coach Louise

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Louise’s Fertility Journey: What to do next?…

yes, not really looking forward to all that again!

yes, not really looking forward to all that again!

Hi dear ttc friends,

Well, things are hanging up in the air right now…. Yes, I was meant to start an IVF treatment in January, then we moved it to February… then….   Well, the other day DH said that neither of us had really addressed anything to instigate getting the next treatment started, and what did that mean?…  We both very briefly (I was half asleep in bed, and he was rushing out the door) talked about the resistance we both had about getting started with all of ‘that’, and also DH said that he was feeling more comfortable not having a baby, because he had grown in the last year to understand that we didn’t need a baby to make us more of a family, or for him to be happy, that he realised that he was accessing joy and happiness with other things that excited him and got him inspired.   As he hasn’t been working for the last year, I know he realises that there are financial stresses that wouldn’t help me through the treatment either to support a positive outcome.  Our bodies can be very intuitive like that.    That was kind of where we left it, but I know he needed to say it, as it seemed like a weight off his mind.

So where did that or does that leave me…  its so difficult not to jump into blaming, accusing, assuming all of these that are so destructive to maintaining positive communication in a relationship. I have had a couple of days to think about it, and let it settle before we continue the conversation.    At first – there was  an immediate understanding because I had been through a similar process of personal growth myself, which allowed me to express my fertility in other creative areas of my life.  Then – there was anger, because it felt like he had already made up his mind (assumption!!!!) and then- a what if I want to carry on? in my mind, thinking that that option might be closed to me.( another assumption!)   I think just the idea that we might be shutting the door on creating a life, was a little scarey to me.   The selfish part of me, also sees a future as a lonely old woman with no-one to visit her, I want kids and their kids to visit me!  But I am happy right now as my life is!  There’s a conundrum!

Well, we will have the rest of our conversation about this weekend and see what happens… this would be our 4th IVF (after 4 IUIs) so we’ll see, I feel kind of open to whatever transpires…. with a little anxiety added to the mix.  Just got to remember that nothing has been decided, and that we will decide together what the next step will be.

Louise

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Enviromental Poison targets gene leading to unexplained infertility.

dna

Hi ladies,

I thought this was quite interesting for those of you who have been diagnosed with  ‘unexplained infertility’.   UCSF has had some wonderful research break throughs in the last year, and one them was in the field of Endocrinology or infertility.  Here’s an excerpt of the article which talks about this topic.  I hope you find it helpful….
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Endocrinology
UCSF scientists were the first to identify the full effect of a commonly used weed killer, atrazine, on human cells. They reported that the herbicide alters hormone signaling, increasing the activity of a gene associated with abnormal human birthweight. Atrazine, they reported, also targets a gene that is amplified in the uteruses of women with unexplained infertility.

 

To read about other break throughs you can go to this link for further information  http://pub.ucsf.edu/today/cache/news/200812301.html

Get a huge sprinkling of Baby Dust in the New Year: New Telecircle ‘ The Fertile Foundation Powercircle’ starts Mon 19th Jan & Tues 20th Jan. Available to all with a phone or Skype!

Get Inspired...

Get Inspired…

Dear Friends,

A new type of support group (with a coaching twist to keep us on a positive track) is starting soon!   The exciting part is that you don’t have to drive anywhere, you can just call in on a specific telephone number (that I will provide) at the same time each week for one hour.   This support group is quite different to any other that you might have come across in the traditional sense.   We will be coming to the calls from a place of love, non-judgement, and positive energy.

I have found that groups I do coaching with over the phone, really enjoy a close connection with each other, and I believe part of that is the fact that no one knows one another, and can’t see each other!  Hard to believe!?

Everyone relaxs in that space and just takes the time out to be nurtured, to share, to be coached, and to set inspired actions that week that will support the ongoing journey in trying to conceive, whether naturally or through medical assistance.

This group is specifically for those who face the challenge of infertility and the steps they take from that diagnosis.  There will be two groups, one for newbies who are new to this journey, and another for women who are at least 1 year in.

If anyone would like to enquire or book their space ( limit of 8 to a group, so everyone gets to participate) please email me at louise@keystoclarity.com or call me on 732-2992347.   The cost of belonging to this group is nominal to cover my personal outlay, as I see this as a way to give back a community that has been very important to me over the last few years.   The monthy fee is $50.

Baby Dust Powercircle     (for Newbies)  will take place at 12pm Noon EST or – 5 hrs GMT

Mega Baby Dust  Powercircle  (for the more seasoned ladies who have been on the journey for over a year) will start on 20th Jan 12pm Noon EST (or – 5 hrs GMT)

Please pass this information or link onto anyone you know who might like to know about this opportunity.  Many thanks!

Warmly,

Coach Louise

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