Tag Archive | Louise’s Journey

Coach Louise and Coach Julie

Dear blog reader,

Coach Louise began this blog with the intention that it be a place to share stories, ask questions, get support in a safe place of understanding and compassion, as well as a source for information on the topic of infertility, miscarriage, treatments etc. I am so excited to be taking over the administration of the blog and continuing on the mission of supporting you on your unique fertility journey. If you’d like to know more about me and what I offer, please click About Julie or visit Whole Vision Coaching. I’m so glad you’re here. Most importantly, I really want you to understand that you are not alone and this part of your adventure does not define who you are.

Having experienced the frustrations of unexplained infertility personally, I recognize that the experience can be isolating when the people around you don’t necessarily understand what you are going through. It is also often the first crisis couples come up against where there is really no control over the outcome. I want to connect with you and give you as much support as possible to lead a life full of joy and balance no matter the outcome of your pursuit of parenthood. I can also help to guide you and propose different alternatives that you might not have considered yet from a purely objective point of view.

Ultimately, I can offer you a space like a comfy sofa that you can fall into to feel comforted and reassured and so much more while on this unexpectedly challenging journey.

With love,
Coach Julie

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Endometriosis: An Infertility Factor? and an update.

Hi Everyone,

Spring is round the corner!..

Spring is round the corner!..

Conceive wrote an interesting article today, which I found interesting because its been something I have been wondering about for myself.  I have had severe period pain ever since I started in my early teens, and now I am 40 and I am still having great discomfort at that time of the month!  I am questioning in my own mind now, why my RE hasn’t recommended that I have a laparoscopy to check out what’s been going on inside.

Conceive wrote:

Endometriosis—which occurs when tissue that’s supposed to be lining the uterus winds up outside it—can be mild or severe, with symptoms or without. Some women with the disease will have no trouble getting pregnant. But others will need proper treatment to conceive.

To read Conceive’s article click on this link:

http://www.conceiveonline.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=142&Itemid=126

An update with where we are right now…

Well, nowhere to be exact!  We are in discussions (DH & I) as to whether to do a final IVF treatment or not.  He is steering towards the No and I am steering towards the Yes.  He will do it, but I want him fully invested in the process.  Why should should us women be the only ones to do any preparation… it takes an Egg AND…a sperm!!

Can you tell I have some emotion around this! Well yes, I am working on it, and know for sure that it has to be something we both want to do – together!

Warmly,

Coach Louise

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Louise’s Fertility Journey: What to do next?…

yes, not really looking forward to all that again!

yes, not really looking forward to all that again!

Hi dear ttc friends,

Well, things are hanging up in the air right now…. Yes, I was meant to start an IVF treatment in January, then we moved it to February… then….   Well, the other day DH said that neither of us had really addressed anything to instigate getting the next treatment started, and what did that mean?…  We both very briefly (I was half asleep in bed, and he was rushing out the door) talked about the resistance we both had about getting started with all of ‘that’, and also DH said that he was feeling more comfortable not having a baby, because he had grown in the last year to understand that we didn’t need a baby to make us more of a family, or for him to be happy, that he realised that he was accessing joy and happiness with other things that excited him and got him inspired.   As he hasn’t been working for the last year, I know he realises that there are financial stresses that wouldn’t help me through the treatment either to support a positive outcome.  Our bodies can be very intuitive like that.    That was kind of where we left it, but I know he needed to say it, as it seemed like a weight off his mind.

So where did that or does that leave me…  its so difficult not to jump into blaming, accusing, assuming all of these that are so destructive to maintaining positive communication in a relationship. I have had a couple of days to think about it, and let it settle before we continue the conversation.    At first – there was  an immediate understanding because I had been through a similar process of personal growth myself, which allowed me to express my fertility in other creative areas of my life.  Then – there was anger, because it felt like he had already made up his mind (assumption!!!!) and then- a what if I want to carry on? in my mind, thinking that that option might be closed to me.( another assumption!)   I think just the idea that we might be shutting the door on creating a life, was a little scarey to me.   The selfish part of me, also sees a future as a lonely old woman with no-one to visit her, I want kids and their kids to visit me!  But I am happy right now as my life is!  There’s a conundrum!

Well, we will have the rest of our conversation about this weekend and see what happens… this would be our 4th IVF (after 4 IUIs) so we’ll see, I feel kind of open to whatever transpires…. with a little anxiety added to the mix.  Just got to remember that nothing has been decided, and that we will decide together what the next step will be.

Louise

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The Fertile Foundation PowerCircle starts tomorrow! & my journey.

sit with me for a moment, let me share my day...

sit with me for a moment, let me share my day…

I am so pleased to be facilitating this wonderful group starting tomorrow.  Any stragglers still interested, call now, to book your place.   The next one starts in January 2009. (you may put your name on the list now – remember spaces are limited)

I am taking the opportunity to coach myself along the same path the group will be following, by setting the intention to get in touch with Weil Cornell Hospital NY, and making an appointment to see an RE there.  This also means I am committing to collecting the copy of all my notes from my current RE. (why they won’t just send it I don’t know!)  That will be a very good step in the right direction as it will have taken me a year to do collect them!  Talk about procrastination.   My intention is to start an IVF treatment in January 2009, and so I will be laying my ‘fertile foundation’ for this journey.  This will be my 4th IVF.  I feel more equipped for this experience, although interestingly at this point not that attached.  Maybe because it is still a ways off, and doesn’t feel that real yet.   I am 30lbs lighter, my health is good, I am taking my shed loads of folic acid, and will start juicing again on Monday. (juicing is amazing!!! it gives me so much energy and clear-headedness)  I will also be walking at least 3 times a week, to start getting my body moving (I can be a bit of a lazy-bones when it comes to exercise…) and get the blood circulating.  This week will also be the week I organise my acupuncture schedule, so that I am clearing all the energy blocks in my body and nourishing my uterus for the IVF.    Sounds like a lot doesn’t it?  I’ll plan a chat with DH to get support, and see what he can do to help.

I will make a list of everything, and make sure I can schedule it in – ensuring it is do-able!  Please check in to see how I am getting on!  I need your support as much as I will be giving you mine!

I promise to report back at the end of each week, to let you know how I am getting on with my preparation and my journey – emotionally and physically.  This will be my journal…

For all those lovelies out there, who are starting their treatments in January, what are you doing to prepare yourself.   Did you know you can influence the quality of your follicles by preparing your body for 3 months prior to ‘conception’ ?   So preparation is important.   Remember we have the holiday season to get through, and managing ourselves and our body’s wellbeing is imperative if we are going to be ready!   This goes for anyone starting anytime of course.

Well, thats all for now!  I hope you had a wonderful weekend, and a Hallow’d Eve!

warmly,

Louise

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Hello to fellow Baby Dancers!

Hi All,

Me hopefully! in 2009

Me hopefully! in 2009

I finally decided that I wanted to wait until next year 2009 to start the IVF treatment. (No 4)  I feel I need the space to focus on the building blocks of creating a baby, by first focusing on me.  Even I had been planning to in the last few months, I haven’t been able to give it my all because of other distractions, like overseas visitors and travel.  So now is the time.  I am really starting now on  general health, eating and exercising.  Both need improvement, although I am not doing too badly on the eating.  I was told that my cholesterol was very high 294 today, which is amazing because my diet is actually pretty good.  Although I believe it is a genetic problem in my family.   We  also need time to do the research so we know who we want to go with – RE -wise, when the time comes in January.  Yes, we will not be wasting any time once the new year hits!    We both have a couple of trips planned in October and November, and it is going to be crazy trying to physically plan an IVF around those.  So our decision has taken the pressure off!  And I do feel better for it.   Now I can devote my time to really focusing on making a nice fuzzy warm landing place for that little embie/s when the time comes.

So who is going to join me in the Fertility Foundation Powercircle?!  Whatever stage of the cycle or treatment you are in, feel free to join, to get the much needed support through this process.  We will make the journey lighter, and perhaps even have a little fun!   I really want that for myself in the upcoming preparation.  What do you want for yourself?       (See the post at the top of the site for info about the Powercircle)

Warmly,

Fellow BDer, Louise

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Peas! a natural contraceptive…and more.

Did you know that!?   In fact I believe the Japanese have a contraceptive made thats main ingredient is peas.   I frickin’ love peas!  So when I found that out, I was thinking well no wonder I can’t get pregnant!  Ok its a bit more complicated than that.  But I was eating them like I normally do, like crazy!  Well, I wanted to share that with you, as I have my last big bowl of peas, soaked in butter, as I start the build up to my next IVF.  Yummy.   Migraine has me laid low today, peas are a comfort.   DH is away on a course, so I will indulge… butter is an indulgence for me too.  I have generally cut butter and margerines out of my diet, even from sandwiches.  Its amazing how quickly you can get used not having it.   My cholesterol is an issue, and if you get pregnant, you naturally get even higher cholesterol!    Well, I have to say I would welcome that if it meant being pregnant!  In the meanwhile trying to do what I can to lower it – except tonight.   The rainy weather is causing a pressure system which is probably causing my migraine.

Hmm that makes me think, I will have to start curtailing the types of painkillers I use, to really be ready to for the IVF.   Not looking forward to dealing with that.  It means constipation – bad!!  Was that more information than you needed?  too bad! hehe!   So its actually is harder to manage the migraines when having to get ready to go through the IVF.  When I fell pregnant on my 2nd IVF ( miscarried at 6 wks 5ds)  last year, I was migraine-free for the duration.  What a great side-effect.   See, there are so many reasons why I should be pregnant!   For those of you who don’t have any idea of what cluster headache / occular migraine is,  I can have between 1 to 5 (sometimes more) migraines in a week.  It is one of the worst kind.  (yes there are lots of different types of migraine) and this type is generally diagnosed more in men.    Wow wouldn’t that be amazing – to be pain free for 9 months AND to have a baby at the end of it!    For some people migraines can get worse through pregnancy, but it has the opposite effect for others.   I found I was one of the latter.

I went to my Resolve support group last night for the first time in ages.  It was so nice to connect with Michelle and Sue, who were the only others that came, which was perfect because they were ones I wanted to reconnect with.  So we were able to have a good chat.  I hadn’t been for about 4 or 5 months, and didn’t realise how much I had missed it.   It really is a place where you can totally be comfortable talking about your experiences knowing there is understanding, empathy and no judgement.   Generally speaking, when someone hasn’t walked in our shoes, it is very difficult for themno to understand what we are going through, and generally anything they might say, can be irritating or inappropriate….. so support groups are a blessing.   If you haven’t been to one, or joined one, and have infertility challenges, do yourselves a big favour – join one!  Especially if you are one of those who is not willing to share your experience with anyone you know.  It gives you the outlet to talk to others with confidentiality and stops you from feeling isolated, which can easily happen with this experience.

Well enough rambling from me…

Next week, I will be setting up appointments with a couple of new IVF doctors… thinking of the clinic in Shorthills, NJ, and Weills-Cornell in NY.  My old doctor says he has done all he can….  a fresh perspective is called for! I am not ready to give up yet.  Besides we only found out I had a couple of gene mutations after my 2nd IVF and miscarriage!  So not giving up yet!

love to all on this journey,

Coach Louise

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Louise’s Journey: Struggling to keep on track!

I am feeling a bit flat at the moment.  I know in my heart what I need to do….get cracking on making arrangements with the next IVF…. find a doctor that I like…  fetch my old notes from my previous doctor… start exercising regularly (yes, gently, I know…) , start my acupuncture treatments….  And get excited and motivated…bbblllaaah  well, I suppose in some ways just knowing generally what to expect is perhaps putting me off too.   I am also having to remind DB about the things he keeps committing to do for this, and then slacks off…..  hmmmm  We both really want do it, but don’t if you know what I mean…

Maybe I’m just coming down from getting back from Spain and seeing family and friends.  We are so far away from everyone here.   And Clive has just got back from spending time with his Dad who just had bypass surgery – so he is also a little deflated right now.  All went well!     But here we are, both quite depleted.   Funny, when I actually gave a great show all about replenishing energy on my radio show earlier this week.  Life is perfect sometimes…..

Well I think I will give myself permission to cocoon over the weekend, read a few books, and have a laze – while Hurricane Hannah hits us with the tail end of its path up the East Coast of the US – it will be a good excuse to cozy up, and have some me time.  Yes, thats what I need,  a little me time.   I have had too much time being around people 24/7!  I get it now.

Hope you are all taking care of yourselves….!   😉

needing a pep up,

Louise

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PS  Yes, coaches are also human!